The Right Fellowship
I want to take this opportunity to discuss what fellowship is and why it is so important to be with the right fellowship versus the wrong fellowship and how to distinguish between the two. I wish I had this information when I was a new born Christian because it would’ve spared me a lot of pain.
The Word says:
23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, 25 not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching (Hebrews 10:23-25).
Among other things, we need fellowship for help hold on to what we believe. Fellowship exhorts (strongly encourages) us and keeps us on the right track. It helps us stir up good works and love. By ourselves, it is very difficult to live the Christian life. No one has to be alone, and with the help of God, you will find the right fellowship.
Fellows In A Ship
Fellowship comes from two words and it means: a group of fellows (men) in a ship (boat) rowing to one destination. Notice the reason for fellowship, when it relates to Christ in verse 24: for exhortation, love and good works.
If you are apart of a fellowship, ask yourself these questions:
- Are you involved in good works?
- Are you being loved according to the scriptures (1 Cor 13:4-7),
- and does the fellowship love others outside of the fellowship?
- Is there exhortation to live free from sin?
If NO is the answer to the above questions, you may be in the wrong fellowship.
In my book, I mentioned the lack of love, the blatant sin, and the unrighteousness I witnessed in Christianity. I mentioned how the Christians I used to fellowship with would make it clear that they weren’t simply “making mistakes”, but deliberately living in sin. There was no attempt to change to live a holy life. Unfortunately this was a very large fellowship. These people were row-row rowing their boat, gently down the stream… to hell.
However, the child of God’s destination should be one of heaven by following the commandments of Jesus Christ (2 John 1:6) and moving away from sin. The children of God are in a different boat, on a different destination.
Often times I run into people from my old church who treat me strangely and wonder why I’m no longer in fellowship with them. My response:: How can we fellowship, when you’re going in the wrong direction. You’re in a completely different boat.”
Discerning Their Destination
Doctrine can help you determine what ship and destination that potential fellowship is headed because what people believe dictate their life course. This discernment must come from a foundation of truth. In other words, you have to know the truth for yourself because you studied and Christ confirmed it to you. After lining up what a fellowship believes with the truth of God’s word, you can decide to be apart of it or not.
I’ve made it rule not to fellowship with people who believe their good works can get them into heaven because we are not saved by our works but by our faith in Jesus Christ (Eph 2:8-10). While I’m prepared to discuss the bible’s viewpoint with such people, if this belief is adamant in them, we cannot fellowship. There’s a lot of consequences that come from legalism which I’ve already shared in my book.
I’ve especially made it a rule not to fellowship with those who believe they are eternally secure. Or people who believe that some sins are OK, and that all roads lead to God. Often, all these doctrines lead to destruction. Therefore you must know the truth for yourself and then look at the fellowship in question and ask yourself, “does it line up with the truth?”
Sometimes doctrine is correct, but there is strife and offenses that happen among loving brothers and sisters. The issue to discern is: did these people make a mistake? Is it truly error rather than intentional? Is there a real desire to change, or have the people become indifferent and could careless about how their actions effect others? Sadly, in past fellowships I’ve been apart of, the latter was the case — it was the wrong fellowship.
There’s a difference between a person who makes a mistake but wants to do the right thing, and a person who makes a mistake and shifts the blame, scoffs at rebuke (Prov 9:7-8), can’t take responsibility and continues to portray the same behavior. Those who run from correction, and continue in sin are not people who you should fellowship with. Jesus said you will know them by their fruit (Matthew 7:16).
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Thank you for this word Neal. It is a word in season to me right now. See how the Lord can use the pain you went through to guide and encourage others who are now treading this path.
Praise God.
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Bless you Deborah, I’m glad that this word is helping you.
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I love this! I need to say that I have no godly friends in my life and never really did. I am single and have 2 wonderful children but I do need godly fellowship but every ‘christian’ and church i went to in 10 years have closed their doors on me and wanted nothing to do with me. I have prayed hard about this. What can I do?
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Hi Beth. First, what you should do is get rid of any ungodly friends as James 4:4 suggests. Hanging with the world will block your relationship with God and any real and godly fellowships he has for you. After this, you may find yourself alone and the only friend you have is God. This is painful but normal for a season as this time is allotted for you to build a firm foundation, root and connection to him. After that is done, you will be free to fellowship with people he chooses for you. This is where I’m at currently, but I know that as I become firmly rooted in him, he’ll show me where the true fellowships are. I hope this helps.
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