Before I finalize the last part of this series, I want to explain what actually happens during sex. Many don’t really have a clear understanding of it. Here is what the scriptures have to say:

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not!
(1 Corinthians 6:15)

To be a true Christian is to be apart of Christ. As a member, you make up a portion and a percentage of Christ’s body. Likewise, to have sex with someone is to make yourself a percentage, a portion, and a member of them. A club has many members, but there is one club. Paul is saying: Should you, after being apart of the club of Jesus, become apart of the club of Harlotry? “Certainly not!”.

Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. (1 Corinthians 6:16-17)

The membership that takes place during sex is two ways. The man becomes a member of the woman’s club, and the woman becomes a member of the man’s club. Both become a percentage of the other. 50% + 50% = 100% or 40% + 60% = 100%. Together, they equal one flesh.

The “club” is the soul. When you have sex, part of your soul is transferred to the person you have sex with, and you receive a part of them. A fraction of your soul is broken off and exchanged for a portion of your partner’s soul. The soul is made up of the mind, will and emotions. So, sexual activity exchanges the mind, will and emotions of both participants.

Building unity

Sex was designed for pleasure, reproduction, and to bring married couples closer together. Sex brings about a union. Other words for union are: coalition, junction, oneness, and club. The Lord does the same with us, he doesn’t have sex with us, but he creates a junction with us through our obedience:

Jesus replied: If anyone loves me, they will obey me. Then my Father will love them, and we will come to them and live in them (John 14:23 CEV). Stay joined to me, and I will stay joined to you … (John 15:4 CEV). There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus … (Romans 8:1)

As you can see from the above scriptures, sex produces the same results as obedience to our Lord Jesus Christ. The result is a “coalition” and a “oneness”. A part of us becomes apart of God, and apart of God becomes apart of us. “But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him” (1 Cor 6:17). Likewise, with sex, two souls, become one whole.

Fragmenting the soul

I don’t know how much of a person’s soul is actually exchanged through sex, I’m just using fractions to illustrate the reality of sex and fornication as it was revealed to me.

As a virgin, let’s say I’m 100% me. If I have sex with Keisha, now I’ve given her 10% of me. I’m still a whole human being, physically, but my soul is made up of 10% Keisha and 90% me. My soul isn’t whole. So, I have 10% of Keisha’s mind, will and emotions (in whatever condition they may be in). The more I have sex with Keisha, the more of her emotions, will and mind I’ll get and vice versa. Old married couples think alike for this reason.

So now, I’m 90% me and 10% Keisha – assuming Keisha was a virgin too. If Keisha wasn’t a virgin, I would get a portion of Keisha and a portion of Cortes (Keisha’s other “boyfriend”). Now I’ve got 5% Keisha and 5% Cortes in me. Now, if I have sex with more women – you do the math. Can you see the problem with fornication?

We Belong Together

Sex was made for people who will stay together until death. The soul was designed to join and remain with one person. Each time a break-up occurs (because people seldom marry and stay with every partner they had sex with), it fractures the soul of both lovers leaving them in spiritual pain (whether they admit it or not).

The pain is real and the soul is actually damaged. Listen to all the love songs about how fornicators feel when their “lovers” leave. Mariah Carey had a song titled “We belong together”. The hook goes like this:

When you left I lost a part of me

It’s still so hard to believe

Come back baby, please

Cause we belong together

“♫ When you left I lost a part of me.” What Mariah said was so true, and many people feel like this after a break up. Although they feel this way, they don’t really understand that a part of their soul was actually removed.

The last part of the verse says, “♫ We belong together.” Mariah longs for that man because a portion of her “essence” is lost away inside of him. When you have sex with someone, your soul says, “This person is my spouse, and we belong together.”

God created sex to join people together, and only for people who are committed to staying together by marriage. Sex builds intimacy and a longing to be close to the other because, only together, can both souls be whole. Because of promiscuity and fornication, people walk the earth wounded and fragmented inside - they truly have “lost themselves”. Sad. But God never intended for that to be.

Hardening the soul

Fornication is also dangerous because you could be hooked up to a really terrible person who mistreats you. Apart from their abusive ways, the sexual union you both share can be used to strengthen the control they want over you. The control works long after sexual activity, because, once again, they put their mind, will and emotions inside you.

You can see examples of this in society where a wife won’t leave an abusive husband, or a man who can’t stop chasing women, even though he sees the damage they’re doing to his wallet and image. If you ever heard someone call a man “pussy-whipped” this is the reasoning behind it.

Some men (sadly) are married to whores, and they know it, but can’t seem to leave them, or put their foot down about their behavior. They just keep taking the abuse. That whore has his mind. She can cheat on him constantly, and that poor, manipulated, beat-down man will just accept her lies, continue with her, and never protest.

As I learned about sexual control, I asked myself a question: Why is it that some people fall victim to being controlled by another through sex, yet the other person doesn’t? Both have exchanged a portion of their minds, wills and emotions. Shouldn’t both be able to control each other?

The answer is: The hardening of the soul, specifically, the emotions and the conscience – one person is more callous than the other.

A player who preys on women has cut off his emotions and conscience preventing him from getting “caught up” and “in love” with the women he’s using. They can’t control his mind with the thought of love and togetherness, because he cares nothing for these things anymore.

The young virgin woman, on the other hand, hasn’t cut off her emotions yet, she’s still naive to the whole “game” – her soul is still open to love, happiness and a lasting relationship (something the player will take advantage of), therefore she can be manipulated. It works the same in reverse. Whoever has the hardest soul won’t fall for the game and be taken advantage of.

The hardening of the soul comes from damage done through fornication. In the player’s case, he lost his ability to “feel” after his “first love” turned out to be a whore who was having sex with his best friend, and every other boy on the block. Now the player does the same to women.

Next, that young girl, after losing her virginity to that player that doesn’t love or marry her – she begins to harden her soul. The pain incurred leads to burying her emotions and conscience deep inside. Initially, she says to herself, “I’ve been hurt, but If I can just find that true love, this can overwrite the pain and make it all go away”, but it doesn’t. She just runs into another guy who does the “hit and quit” again.

The more fornication is practiced – the more the soul is fractured. The more fractures in the soul – all the more pain. And then the callouses are formed. This is the hardening of the soul. It’s like, if you keep scraping your elbow against a rough surface, soon the skin will thicken in the form of a black callous, and the pain won’t be felt as much. This is what people are doing to their souls.

The angry, wounded woman

After the callouses form, many people give up on the possibility of a life of love and happiness. They begin to think that true love doesn’t exist.

Many young women, now, just use sex to control men and get what they want from them. And likewise, the men, use women simply to gratify their insatiable lust. This is terrible. Neither gender cares for the other anymore. In fact, they hate one another.

While women of God have to steer clear of doggish men, this article series is directed at men of God. I want to include some more wisdom from Solomon found in Ecclesiastes chapter 7 verse 26:

New King James Version:
And I find more bitter than death The woman whose heart is snares and nets, Whose hands are fetters. He who pleases God shall escape from her, But the sinner shall be trapped by her.

Contemporary English Version:
Here is what I discovered: A bad woman is worse than death. She is a trap, reaching out with body and soul to catch you. But if you obey God, you can escape. If you don’t obey, you are done for.

There are many angry women out there that have been wounded through fornication, they hate all men because of this. They hate their boyfriends who didn’t love them. They hate their fathers for not loving them, being absent, and for not protecting them from doggish men. They’ve been mistreated by so many men that they now seek revenge.

These women have become hateful, resentful, and beast-like. In the streets, they call women “bitches” (female dogs), but the spider name “black widow” would best fit this growing number of women. The insides of these women are in shreds, and they have lost all morality, femininity and humanity. What a shame. Look at what the devil has done to these women through a selfish man.

I said this before: we need to pray for these women!

You, as a man of God, didn’t do anything wrong to these venomous creatures, but it doesn’t matter because, in their eyes, all men are evil. You have become the enemy that must be crushed. So, you will discover that when you encounter them, you’ll be slighted, belittled, and lied about even though you did nothing wrong.

Or, instead of mistreatment, these spiders will flatter you with kind words (as learned in part 1 of this series). That pretty, shapely woman will smile and entice you to have sex with her. She’ll pretend to adore you, but she really hates you. Just know that she’s trying to victimize you, control your mind, and kill your soul; and if she could get away with physical murder, she would do that too.

She hates all men. The devil has formed the perfect tool to kill you – a wounded, angry, sexy woman, who uses her body and soul to destroy. They’re out there. Many of them are in the church. Many are on the streets. Be warned. Guard your thoughts and obey Christ!

Other people’s problems

The soul also houses sin and demons. So, through fornication, you’re more inclined to commit the same sins, and contract the same demons your partners have. This is why God commanded Israel not to join with the foreign women. All the surrounding nations served false gods. With all false gods, there are demons behind them.

Those foreign women had joined their souls to these unclean spirits through worship. Therefore, to get involved with those foreign women would lead to the same. If you read any part of the old testament, you’ll see the results of the Israel’s rebellion. Demons are whole beings (corrupted personalities), not fragments of a soul. It’s enough to deal with your own demons, but to deal with someone else’s, along with their fragmented soul, becomes a huge problem.

So you can see why fornication is detrimental and why marrying the right person is so important. You can also understand why God says not to have sex with animals. Who wants to have a portion of the mind, will, and emotions of a beast in them? We should only join ourselves to that one person God has for us, and be joined with Jesus Christ through obedience. To join with any other group of people, outside of the Holy God, will bring serious consequences.

The physical side of sex.

We all know what goes on here: body fluids are exchanged and semen is transferred. The problem with fornication is that every person’s body is different, and through sexual contact, unique organisms meet. The body has to handle this encounter and adapt and/or destroy these different organisms.

Too many encounters with too many different people, and the body gets overwhelmed and infected. This is where STDs come from, and especially AIDS. A man’s semen shouldn’t be in another man’s body and a human shouldn’t have intercourse with an animal. The body’s response to this is, “Woe, what the hell is going on!” Therefore, HIV is born.

I used to hear all these stories about the “white man” creating AIDS in a lab to kill off blacks. This is completely stupid. Also, AIDS and STDs are not the judgment of God. All these diseases are simply the human body’s reaction to what it wasn’t made for. The body wasn’t made to join with multiple people, the same sex, and especially animals. It’s kind of like this: if you drink sewage water, you’ll get sick. The body can only accept clean water.

Polluted water will cause a sickness because it wasn’t intended for the body. Fornication is like drinking polluted water, the soul and body’s natural response will be infection and sickness. God didn’t bring judgment in the form of a STD, it was the body’s natural reaction to the foreign substance.

God tells us to abstain from sex until we’re married for our own benefit, not to cut off our fun. The body simply wasn’t made for fornication. God is trying to save us from all this drama, but we keep sticking the fork into the electrical socket.

Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. (1 Corinthians 6:18)