Nowhere in scripture does God condemn a man for polygamy, but it’s clear that God’s best is for a man to have only one wife. Ultimately under American law, polygamy is illegal and since God ordained the governing authorities, God prohibits polygamy specifically in America.

This article is to the Hebrew Israelites, and these new Christian groups practicing polygamy. In this study article we’ll look at the pros and cons of polygamous relationships, why God allowed it back then, and what the bible says about it today.

Polygamy, Polygyny, Polyandry

First off, let’s get some terms understood:

• Polygamy means multiple spouses
• Polygyny means a husband with multiple wives
• Polyandry means a wife with multiple husbands
• Monogamy means one husband and one wife

In this article, we’re specifically focusing on polygyny, a husband with multiple wives. Polyandry, a wife with multiple husbands, is disorderly because it’s clear in scripture that God made man the head of the wife (Eph 5:23). If a woman has two husbands, then who’s the head?

Polyandry was never practiced by the Israelites of old or the Church because it’s just plain backwards. A woman practicing polyandry is a whore according to scriptures. Some Indian and African tribes practice polyandry and claim it’s not about “female dominance”, and when you examine it, it may not be, but it looks more like civilized harlotry at best.

In the description link above, the men later go off to marry their own wives—their permanent wives. So it’s not like these men stay with this one woman for the duration of their lives. So sadly, she’s basically a prostitute and her parents are the pimps.

I know some of my readers are saying this is a double standard. If a man is allowed to have multiple wives, so should a woman be allowed to have multiple husbands. But it’s not a double standard because men and women are not the same. God created man to fulfill his purposes in the earth and to glorify himself. The woman/wife was created to help her husband do that (Isa 43:7; Ecc 12:13-14; Gen 2:18). These are very separate roles.

It’s clear in scripture that the great patriarchs of God had multiple wives and God didn’t condemn them. But we also know that God’s original arrangement for a man was one wife. Adam all the way until Lamech, the son of Cain, had one wife. Lamech was the first man to take two wives (Gen 4:19). Then we jump to the nation of Israel and we see rules setup concerning the treatment of multiple wives within God’s chosen people.

Why did God allow multiple wives?

All one has to do is dig into history and see why this practice was acceptable by God even if it wasn’t his best setup for a marriage relationship. Here’s a few reasons and upsides to polygyny:

1) Every woman gets a husband

In a time where many men were lost to wars, there was a shortage of men. Monogamy would leave many women single. Polygyny insured all women could have a husband and children.

2) Nation building

Man was commanded to be fruitful and become many (Gen 1:28, 26:4). In Deut 25:5-10 a man was shamed for not bearing a child for his dead brother’s wife because he would be opposing the “building of his brother’s house” and therefore neglecting to build the nation as a whole. In a monogamous marriage, one woman only can bear so many children at a time. With one man impregnating several wives, his family and thus nation, could grow a lot quicker. This is why a man took pride in large families for it signified strength and prosperity.

3) Protection for women and children

In a society with no governmental support for single women, especially with children, a woman would have to turn to harlotry to support herself. On top of that, there were no police or laws, so anything went. A woman was on her own and it was dangerous. With a husband and “sister wives,” she was better protected along with her children.

4) Reduced adultery

Because a husband had a variety of wives to fulfill his lust, there was little need to go outside of the marriage covenant and commit adultery. Just think if God made it a law that the men of Israel must only have one wife? Many of God’s mighty men that we know today wouldn’t be in the “Hall of Faith” due to adultery. God knew these men didn’t have the Spirit of God to provide supernatural self-control. Therefore God’s allowance of polygyny makes sense in this area. However, for those of us today with the Spirit of God, we have the power to overcome our lust and so we don’t need multiple wives.

5) Home management and wealth building

With multiple wives and an excessive amount of children, all the tasks of home management and child raising would no longer be on one woman. Now everyone would be able to chip in and lighten the load; and because these families worked the field and farmed animals they needed all the help they could get. The end result was an accumulation of wealth in the family in which every member shared in.

The downsides of polygyny everywhere

1) Poor single men

Poor men could end up with very little choices, because most women would be taken by the richest men. In underdeveloped countries it really is all about how much wealth you have because your life depended on it. If you were poor, you could end up a slave/servant of someone and that could be a hard life.

2) Stressed out rich men

Attempting to please and provide for multiple wives and excessive children could become stressful if the wives and children become too demanding. What was once a dream of a variety of sexual partners would become a nightmare as the man seeks to keep up with all the needs of his family. One man with that much responsibility could end up doing the next thing.

3) Neglect of one or more wives/children

Leave it to some men and they will neglect some of their wives and children. God foreseen this and made laws to protect Israelite women (Exodus 21:10). He made sure that the proper firstborns received their inheritances, even if that wife wasn’t the favorite; and that all wives had sufficient clothing and food.

3) Favoritism and all the drama that goes with it

It’s common for a man to favor one of his wives. It’s just fleshly to have one you like most out of the variety. It’s also hard to hide the fact that you have a favorite, or to attempt to give each wife equal amounts of attention. Someone will be neglected, and it’s simply not fair for the wives. We see in scripture how favoritism led to jealousy, envy, contempt and competition—all of which is destructive to a family (Deut 21:15-17; 2 Chronicles 11:21, Gen 16:4).

4) Multiple wives turns a man away from God

God told his people to hold their king accountable, “neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his heart turn not away…” (Duet 17:17). And we see later on in 1 Kings 11:1-4, that King Solomon fell away from God because of his seven hundred wives (and three hundred concubines) mostly due to some of them being foreign which was forbidden in the first place. But still, that many women is just ridiculous and will definitely mess a man up.

No man can handle that many women and stay sane or be able to focus on God’s will. And if you know anything about sex the soul is exchanged between each partner, so Solomon’s soul was scattered around his palace. His mind was warped and the women took control of him.

5) Abuse of power

Since the man is the head/leader, and has so many women giving him attention, praise and honor, he may begin to think he’s a god and abuse his authority. Since the wives are dependant on him in most cases, he can order them to do whatever he wants, and for fear of being sent away, they will do it. This could result in some of the wives taking abuse or fulfilling demands that go against their conscience.

I’ve heard within some Israelite camps that polygynists are forcing their wives to have sex with each other, bringing in underaged wives and all kinds of madness. Lust isn’t satisfied (Proverbs 27:20) and it continues to grow resulting in more and more wives being brought into the marriage (like Solomon) and/or more debased sexual activity to the point of lesbianism among the sister wives.

I would say that the cons of polygyny are more harmful than the pros even within God’s boundaries.

What Jesus says about polygyny

The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

⁴ And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, ⁵ And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? ⁶ Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

⁷ They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

⁸ He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. (Matthew 19:3-8)

Here, Jesus implies, just as his father, that monogamy is the best marital relationship for man. And in regards to divorce, because of the hardness of the hearts of Israel, God permitted divorce. Likewise we could apply that same reasoning to why God allowed multiple wives—for the sake of men’s lustful flesh. God doesn’t like divorce neither does he like multiple wives, but given the circumstances he allows it.

The New Testament goes on to express that in order for men to pastor or deacon God’s Church they could only have one wife (Titus 1:6-7, 1 Tim 3:2,12). Once again, this goes back to God’s one woman model. Even Jesus has just one bride and not multiple wives. Although we are many, as a collective we make up one single spiritual woman—the Church, the single Bride of Christ (Rev 21:9).

Then you have another passage expressing monogamy for everyday saints, not just leaders, saying:

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband (1 Corinthians 7:2).

Own implies one wife and one husband. How can a wife have her own husband when she’s sharing him with other wives? She can’t. Therefore, I believe men of God should only have one wife.

The Romans violation

The strongest scripture that would make polygyny a violation in God’s sight is in Romans chapter thirteen:

Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. ² Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.

³ For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same: ⁴ For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil. ⁵ Wherefore ye must needs be subject, not only for wrath, but also for conscience sake.

⁶ For for this cause pay ye tribute also: for they are God’s ministers, attending continually upon this very thing. ⁷ Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour (Romans 13:1-7).

What this means is we are to obey the laws of the land because God ordained them. However, if you read other scriptures, we are not to obey the laws of the land if they violate God’s commandments and cause us to sin (Acts 5:27-29). In this case, God never made a command saying, “Thou shalt marry two or more wives.” Therefore, in America, if the law states that polygyny is illegal, it is illegal in God’s sight too.

I believe polygyny is not necessary in America due to it being a developed country. A single woman has some protection from crime through the local police, or she can own a gun. There are jobs available for her to make a living, and there is government assistance if her income is too low. If a woman’s children are abandoned by their father, there are local and statewide support for her as well. These are the benefits of a developed country. In a country with little resources and support for its people, polygyny would be beneficial for women.

Most American polygynists are really fornicators and adulterers

Today, there are people practicing polygyny in and outside the Church and I believe they are in violation according to the laws ordained by God for America. Let me explain.

Since it’s illegal to have multiple wives in America, people are just skipping the marital legal process and just making spoken and/or written covenants with one another. The man and woman are claiming to be married but on American soil they’re not legally married. Therefore they’re not legally married in God’s sight either. So in fact they’re just two fornicators. Add additional women to the mix and you have an arrangement like that of today’s U.S. based Israelite polygynists who are really practicing fornicating.

Then you have a man who has a legal wife, but wants to bring in more wives. He can’t go down to the courthouse to get married to another because that would be illegal (bigamy). So instead, he does the same thing as the fornicator does and recites a written or spoken covenant with this additional woman and they then claim they are married. This man has become an adulterer having intimacy with another woman, or women, apart from his legal wife.

It doesn’t matter if the wife agrees to this new arrangement, it’s still adultery. Marriage is God’s institution not man’s. Man doesn’t get to determine the rules of God’s institution. So for anyone in the relationships described above, you need to confess your sin and repent. Don’t go to hell for this, it’s not worth it.

Truth be told, most of these relationships in America are due to a man’s lust. It’s just that simple. And from what I hear, the men are not taking care of the woman, and the children are being abused. In some pathetic cases, the women are working to support the man. This isn’t good for either men or women and it’s just not God’s best, but given a different country and time it could be of some benefit.

I don’t want to come off as trying to vilify this practice because I’m neither for it nor against it. And I’m sure there are polygynists out there that are happily married in Christ Jesus.

As for the man who came from a place where polygyny was legal and settled in America, it wouldn’t be right to separate him from his two or more wives; or for the saints of God to shun him for having multiple wives. As long as he takes care of them, and they do the same for him, there shouldn’t be a fuss about it.

However if a man in a monogamous marriage moves to another country that supports polygyny, or the laws change to support polygyny in his own country, it would be legal in God’s sight to marry additional wives, but in such cases, that man must be led by the Spirit to do so. God knows the heart of man and if his motives are not right for pursuing it, he may not inherit the kingdom of God because of it. At the end of the day, scripture is clear: God’s best is monogamy.

Stick with one wife.