How to Spot a Harlot: A commentary on Proverbs 5:1-3

The Proverb begins:

My son, if you listen closely to my wisdom and good sense, you will have sound judgment, and you will always know the right thing to say (vs 1-2 CEV).

Listening closely to the wisdom and understanding of God will give us sound judgment which is: the capacity to perceive, discern or make reasonable decisions. But the key is to listen closely.

We need to take every word God says through prayer and revealed scripture and dissect it. We shouldn’t read the bible, we should study it. Every line, every word. A preacher used to say, “Don’t do a drive by on the scriptures.” Every verse in the bible is there for a reason.

We ought to take the time to listen closely to what God is trying to say to us through each verse. We must notice the word selection as well. Why did the Lord choose this word to describe this or that? Sometimes we need to track down the original meaning of a word to get the correct understanding. Free bible software like e-Sword is helpful in deep study of the scriptures. Most importantly, if we listen and study closely, we’ll get everything we need from the scriptures.

Verse 2b says, “And you will always know the right thing to say.” Often times we’re caught in situations where we become speechless. It’s good to know that wisdom can help us in these situations. It’s especially good to know what to say to an immoral woman, as the following verses will discuss. How to say “NO”, and most importantly, how to perceive her beforehand is essential to a avoiding fornication and adultery.

The words of an immoral woman may be as sweet as honey and as smooth as olive oil (vs 3 CEV).

First off, an immoral woman is a woman who practices sin. She lives a lifestyle that is contrary to godly and moral principles. She lies, gossips, manipulates, is proud and above all, practices fornication. The Lord considers any woman who practices fornication to be a whore (harlot). She doesn’t have to walk the streets, just the fact that she has sex outside of marriage is enough for the Lord to give her this title.

This puts into perspective all woman who continues to have sex outside of marriage. This kind of woman is worldly, doesn’t abide in Christ, and may not even be born again, but, being the liar that she is, she may claim to be a Christian. Here are seven signs you may be dealing with a harlot. These come from scripture and what the Lord has taught me while I was in the harlot church.

1. She flatters you

Verse 3 gives insight into knowing how to perceive a harlot. First off, she always seems to say the right things to you. She flirts with you and her words are sweet. Sweet words are agreeable words. She always agrees with you – when no one else does. Sometimes, even when you’re wrong, she agrees with you anyway. There’s a yes-man and she’s a yes-woman.

Sweet words is flattery. For instance, she says stuff like: “You’re handsome. You have a nice voice. You’re big and strong. You’re so funny. You’re really a ‘Man of God’. I loved your message on… God is really using you.” Flattery is excessive compliments that are often insincere. She’s fake. She could care less about your sermon series. Your jokes aren’t really that funny to her, but she laughs up a storm when you’re around. If you have good senses, you will be able to detect her lies, which is what flattery is. One compliment after another – one sweet remark after another – flattery is of the devil.

2. She pursues you

She comes over and sits next to you. Flattery is an immoral woman “spitting game” to a man. She sweet talks you as if you were a girl and she was the guy. She’s trying to “get you” like a guy would a girl. Beware of a woman who pursues you. What she’s doing is masculine. The is not the nature of a godly woman. A godly woman who wants a man wouldn’t pursue and flatter him. A godly woman is honest and quiet, and will wait for the man to talk to her. I repeat:

A godly woman doesn’t come after a man and pursue him. This is masculine and not of feminine nature.

It is the man that does the pursuing – not the woman (Proverbs 18:22). For a woman to pursue a man is immoral and out of the natural order of God, and it shows her mindset: she matriarchal. She believes that women rule and men follow. And if you fall for her schemes, you’ll find yourself being bossed around and controlled by her. Don’t think she’ll be in a submissive relationship to you – she won’t – she’s the man, you’re the woman.

3. You barely know her

In verse 3, the KJV translates “immoral woman” as “strange woman.” Strange means: foreigner, unfamiliar. This immoral woman is someone you barely know. Seeing her at another church once, or remembering her from college or high school is not knowing her. If you did know her then, time has passed and people change, so you don’t know her now. She’s a stranger. Beware of a woman who you barely know, but all of a sudden is so into you – she’s a conman. Beware.

4. She has smooth talk

Smooth talk means to bring oneself purposely into the favor of another. So, all her flattery was designed to open you up for her next move: gaining your favor and approval. Because these proverbs are geared at protecting the men of God, this whore, who’s ignorantly being used by the devil, will try to appeal to your godliness. She’s says things like the following:

“I’ve been studying this passage in the bible, and it’s so deep to me.”

This is designed to get you to think that she studies her bible often and is getting revelation. If she’s getting revelation, she must be saved is what she wants you to think. She most likely repeated what she read in some commentary.

“The Lord has been really blessing me in my prayer and fasting times.”

She wants you to thinks she’s so spiritual and spends time in communion with the Lord. This one will come off as bragging and boasting to you. But she’ll think shes being subtle as she drops these kinds of hints here and there.

“I gave this homeless man some money”

If she knows you’re a giver, she will say she does the same thing.

“I’m overcoming this sin in my life”

She wants you to believe that she is actively fighting her flesh – someone who’s perusing holiness. She knows you do the same, so she’ll often talk about what the Lord has been showing her and how she’s overcoming this and that. Her character and future actions will prove the contrary.

“I’m involved in good works at my church”

She wants you to believe that she’s an active worker for the Lord.

“I know God, this is my testimony of how God saved me … ”

She wants you to believe she is a born again believer. Her testimony, if you really listen carefully, is full of emotion and no real acknowledgment, repentance or conviction of sin.

Everything you like, she likes.

If you have this hobby, she may allude to having some dealings with it and liking that too. If you like dogs, she adores dogs. If you like skiing, she likes skiing. But at the end, you will find that most of the things you care about, she doesn’t even know how to do, and in some instances, despises.

Quotes scripture.

She will do this to try and impress you. She thinks you like a bible quoting woman.

All of the above is to make herself appear to be a good Christian (if this is the role she’s playing as I will discuss later on). She thinks this stuff will gain your favor and be attractive to you. But it’s all nonsense. The Holy Spirit will reveal to you her motives and expose her lies, if she doesn’t tell on herself first. I say this because, in my experience with women, if you really listen close to what they said, they’ll tell on themselves and you’ll discover if they’re immoral or not. As you listen closely to this harlot’s sweet and smooth talk, you’ll find that she’s lying about everything.

5. She tries to get into your mind

The immoral woman wants to saturate your mind with her image. She wants you to keep thinking and desiring her. She does the following:

She stares at you

This is something even street harlots do to get your attention and focus on them. You’ll be thinking, “She must like me a lot – she keeps looking at me.” My mother taught me that staring isn’t polite. I find staring creepy, and this is exactly what these kinds of women are. Confront her and say, “I noticed you were staring at me, is that true?” If she says, “yes”, before she says another word say, “I’m not attracted to any kind of woman that stares – you’re creepy.” Then walk away with a scared and disgusted look on your face. 🙂

She jams your lines of communication.

If she gets your phone number, she’ll call you. The calls may start in the evening, but they soon will come in the mornings and late at night. She asks if you receive texts on your cell phone so that she can send you scriptures and little compliments, or encouragements throughout the day. If you have a Facebook page, she’ll be in your inbox and periodically placing nice little comments and responses to your statuses. It doesn’t matter what the content is, the goal is to keep her image in your mind. This doesn’t happen all of a sudden, but gradually.

She shows off her body.

Exposure to her body will vary depending on what role she’s playing (as I’ll discuss later on). At some point, she’ll make sure you see her goods. Advertising their body is what harlots do. In her FaceBook photo gallery, you’ll find some photos that won’t resemble the Christian she’s claiming to be. She’ll giggle and explain these pics away as her “before Christ days.” But why are these sensual images still in existence (in public view) if she’s a born again Christian? “Old things have passed away” (2 Cor 5:17). Don’t fall for it, she wants you to see them.

In her presence, she may do things to bring attention to her butt, like bending down in front of you and wearing jeans that look like they’re painted on. For her legs, she’ll wear a short dress. The harlots with big breast often tried this trick on me: If we were out in public, they’d dress modestly and normally. But then, after returning from the restroom, their shirts would be open exposing some cleavage that wasn’t seen before. It’s not like you need to take your shirt off to urinate. It was obvious that these whores wanted me to see this. There’s no excuse. Women pay close attention to how they look. You don’t forget to button up your shirt. If you come across this, just know that she’s trying to make you lust after her.

“I need you to pray with me”

She often wants to pray, but of course she needs you (the big “man of God”) to pray with her. This allows her to make constant contact with you by holding her hands as you both pray. She wants you to feel how soft her hands are, to get you comfortable and in the habit of touching her. Before you know it, she’ll have you touching other parts of her.

“Let’s have a Bible study”

This suggestion is often a one-on-one session. Just the two of you. She’s dating you without you even knowing it under the title of “Fellowship in the word.” This is the just another tactic to keep herself in your mind; and to drain you of your time with the Lord. You’ll may go away tired and decide not to get your personal bible study and prayer time in since you did some prayer and studying with her. Wake up dude! She’s trying to replace God in your life.

She leaves her scent.

She cries on your chest leaving the smell of her hair or perfume embedded in your clothes. This often comes after prayer, as she tells you her problems and breaks down from all the emotion. This is a trick. She’s a drama queen – winning the award for best actress 7 times in a row. This is all fake, but now you’ve got this chick’s scent on you. You’re driving home and you can smell it on your shirt. If she was in your car, her scent is there. If she was in your house, it’s there too. Every time you smell it, it reminds you of her.

Resistance

Often times, the man of God may resist some of these tactics and even call them out. The man of God explains why he feels some of these activities are borderline sinful and her responses are usually like this:

“Quit being so cautious and spiritual. Ease up, you’re not going to fall into sin. You’re a strong man of God.”

These appeal to your flesh’s ability to keep you from sin rather than the power of god. Don’t let this heathen correct you. You correct her, and then get rid of her. The Holy Spirit gives you discernment for a reason and she’s trying to say you don’t need to use it. If you believe this you will get burnt in more ways than you can imagine.

6. She role plays

I told you she was an actress and a very good one. She will play a role based off of your level of spiritual growth and where she thinks you are in life. These roles are designed to fit into your personality. The three roles are as follows:

The future wife role

Many of the tactics already written above will be used. She knows you’re in search of a wife and so she tries to be that “woman of God” you’re looking for. She lies, manipulates and schemes all to get you to choose her. I say this because whores will marry you if she sees some gain in it. But she didn’t know that she was messing with a man of God who read Proverbs chapter 5 and perceived this immoral woman a mile away. Thank God for his wisdom.

The new Christian who needs discipleship role

This appeals to the married or single man, and new believers who still have a lot of pride in them. She often comes off as needing your help in order to live this Christian life. If you’re an older man, she’ll come off as a daughter – acting as if she needs a father. If you’re a younger man, she’ll come off as a sister – acting as if she needs a brother. In both cases, she seems submissive and willing to learn the bible.

She says she’s overcoming sin, but still is struggling with sins like fornication. She may even tell you of some of her sexual experiences or how many guys she’s “doing it too.” Whatever you do, don’t listen to that. This is designed to put lustful thoughts in your mind. Her transparency about her struggles with fornication and being a new Christian is also designed to excuse her short dresses and whoreish attire—after all, she’s just a babe in Christ, you can’t expect her to change the way she dresses overnight. But the man’s constant exposure to her body is building the lust in him.

She also makes the man think he’s some kind of wise giant compared to the humble pupil that she is. This is why pride must be dealt with in a man so it can’t be used against him through flattery. In a man’s foolish pride, he takes on a woman like this, only to fall in the end.

I believe men should disciple men and women should disciple women. If a married couple wants to disciple a younger woman, the wife should be present at all times. Being alone with a younger woman that isn’t your daughter has the appearance of evil, and we should abstain from all appearances of evil (1 Thess 5:22).

The plain old whore role

She doesn’t hid it. She tells you what she does up front. She doesn’t claim to be a Christian. She makes you think that you can convert her to Christianity all the while seeking to convert you to her religion of Whoredom. She advertises through social media, Craig’s List adult ads, porn sites and the newspaper. She’s a call-girl, an escort and a paid date. She’s at the clubs, strip joints and bars you frequent. Shes on the streets you drive down every day. This kind of whore preys on weakened Christian men that have been dealt a heavy blow in this War, and now the devil is using the harlot to finish the job. Beware and notice that this kind of woman is found in places no Christian man has any business being.

7. Weird Behavior

She’s aggressive, controlling, manipulative and masculine.

Often sits too close to you. She takes up your personal space. She peruses you. She asks you out on dates. She takes the initiative. She’s bossy and pushy often asking you do things for her that she can probably do herself.

She gives you her address, and contact info when you didn’t ask for it.

She would rather fornicate with you on her turf rather than your house or a motel.

She’s loud and proud

In Proverbs 7:11, it mentions the harlot being loud and proud. I like Matthew Henry’s definition of loud and proud: “She talkative and self-willed, noisy and troublesome, willful and headstrong…” She can’t bear to be corrected, even on the smallest thing – try it and watch how she reacts – it will be ugly. Godly women are not loud and they can take correction if done in a loving way.

She stares at you with lust

We talked about her staring to get your attention and to get inside your head, but once she thinks she has you, she will begin to give you these uncomfortable stares that make you feel like a peace of meat – like a live impala being stalked by a hungry lioness. A wild animal is what she really is. Her father is the devil who goes around seeking whom he may devour, and so does she (1 Peter 5:8).

She treats you right, but others like garbage

With all the flattery and smooth talk being rained on you, others around you are treated much different. Just know, you’ll soon be treated like garbage, if you continue to deal with her.

Gossip and hatred for other women

Other women don’t like her. This is because they know she’s a whore and a pretty good one. In response, the whore will often gossip about all these other women. She trying to make them look bad so you don’t approach them. She doesn’t want them getting the piece of meat she’s after – which is you (whores are in competition to get the best man).

Claiming you behind your back

If you’re a single man, behind your back, she allude and imply to other women that you and her are a relationship. Evidence will be that women will ask you if you and her are together. This is evil and foul. When dealing with any woman, I’ve learned, that you must make clear boundaries upfront. If she’s the woman you’re courting to be married, it should look like it, if not, it shouldn’t look like it. Y’all shouldn’t be seen together and sitting together all the time. I don’t care if you say “we’re just friends”, just beware, the immoral woman is saying that you’re both engaged behind your back. She trying to block you from any other woman.

Defending you behind you back

This is similar to the last sign but it is often done because, she thinks she owns you. And if anyone says something against you, they’re saying something against her. This is wicked. First, it belittles the man by saying he can’t fend for himself. Second, it makes it look like you and her are in a relationship again.

These are just what the Lord has shown and taught me about “whore-perception.” I hope you find it useful. Next week, I will continue to the study on how to deal with a harlot and avoiding fornication and adultery.

Continue to part 2

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