The devil hates marriage because it mirrors the relationship Jesus has with his bride the Church. Good marriages produces healthy children, strong communities and strong nations. Satan seeks to pervert and destroy marriage at all costs and with the state of marriages in America, it’s evident that he’s succeeding, but he won’t be with yours. While the average marriage is under attack even greater are those who profess to follow Jesus. You have to be aware that he’s going to do everything he can to prevent, delay, mismatch, pervert and/or destroy your marriage.
Let’s talk more about the enemy’s tactics.
Tactic 1: Prevention
Satan may attempt to deceive you into believing that you’re not good enough for a woman, that you’re too flawed of a person. If you believe this, you may never get married. Or, your attempts to do so may result in constant failure because you believe you really don’t deserve to be married.
The truth is: everyone has flaws. Nobody’s perfect. But if it’s your desire is to please God by becoming like his son Jesus, then you can tell the devil to shut up! You are worthy of a spouse who loves you, and you’ll be able to love them back just the same. No single man or woman who truly loves the Lord is unworthy of love. I’ve seen the crippled, the blind, the disfigured, even a man who had no arms or legs get married to beautiful, healthy women.
If the devil can’t deceive you into believing lies about your worthiness, then he may try to convince you that it’s better to remain a single man because you’ll be more useful for the Kingdom of God—yes, the devil can get “spiritual” on you . You may come across scriptures that support this because there are (1 Cor 7:32-34), but make no mistake about it, if you have a desire to marry, it is God’s will that you marry at some point if at all possible.
6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind of another. 8 So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows— it’s better to stay unmarried just as I am. 9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust [desire or passion] (1 Cor 7:6-9 NLT).
Some men have been given the gift of celibacy as we seen with Paul in first Corinthians chapter seven. And Jesus mentioned that some men made themselves spiritual eunuchs for the kingdom’s sake (Matt 19:12). However, these don’t apply to you if you have a strong desire to love and be married.
As Paul says, “It is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Cor 7:9). Some men may argue that they really have a sexual lust problem, and so it’s really not a passion for a wife and a marriage, but simply for sex. I would say that you still have a passion for a wife and marriage, your desires are just perverted at the moment. I would say that you should expel that lust problem, heal, and afterward, resume your pursuit for a godly wife.
Spiritual eunuchs and those with the gift of celibacy don’t have a desire for marriage and rather have committed their lives to the service of God as single men like Paul and Jesus while he was on earth.
So don’t limit yourself, don’t limit God and don’t believe the devil’s lies. Remember: God said, “it’s not good for a man to be alone.” If you desire to be married, you should be. Don’t listen to the devil and stay single, that’s not God’s will for your life.
Tactic 2: Delay
Delay is similar to prevention, but it’s when you reach the point of finding the right woman, you both want to marry, but something is preventing you from going through with the marriage. Some people think that all their finances need to be in place. Or that he or she needs a job, or needs to finish school. These excuses could be tactics of the enemy.
A couple being delayed will continue to court or date for years after knowing they’re suppose to be married. This could increase their chances of fornication with one another, or breaking up and/or marrying the wrong person.
A delay could make you miss the next move God has for you as a married family unit. God may foresee that you will need your wife, not a fiancee in the near future, but the devil is trying to force you to go it alone.
Sometimes family members will try to prevent you from getting married under the claim of, “you’re too young”, or “you haven’t dated enough.” I’m not against patience before marriage because it is one of the most important decisions of your life, but at some point you need to just start the marriage. Delay can lead you to miss the opportunities God has for you. So once you’ve settled on your wife and you’re both in agreement, pull the trigger and don’t delay.
Tactic 3: Mismatch
This whole book is about finding the right woman so that you don’t marry the wrong one. Satan’s plan is for you to marry the wrong woman so that you’ll have all kinds of hell on earth and potentially stumble into sin and ultimately into eternal destruction. But that’s not going to happen because you’ve read my book and you hold close to the Holy Spirit.
During your pursuit, you’ll come across all kinds of women, some sent by God and some sent by Satan – this book and the Holy Spirit will help you know the difference.
Tactic 4: Perversion
Earlier, I talked about the roles of men and women. The demon spirit of Jezebel seeks to pervert these roles so that the man is led by his wife, while the wife dominates the husband and the family. This goes along with the previous tactic of mismatching. If Satan can get you to marry such a woman, you’re in for much conflict. If he can’t do that, he’ll try his best to influence your godly wife to accept the feminist/jezebel spirit through entertainment, news, family and friends.
Music, TV and radio are dominated with the message, “Women rule, men need to sit down and be quiet.” These messages can be subliminal so you and your wife should be educated and on guard. You stay educated by holding on to God’s word and his Holy Spirit. You may have to cut off certain shows, movies and even people for the sake of your marriage.
Perversion isn’t just targeted at the women, but at the man as well. Jezebel can only operate with a weak man who’s full of lust. His lust is what’s used to control him. As a man, you have to be on guard against, porn, adultery, love of material things and conquest. When you become captivated by these things it can take you away from the love of your wife. This can then lead to the hardening of your wife’s heart because she is no longer receiving love and feels she has to take care of herself. When that happens, she begins to think independently and this is when that spirit has the greatest influence over her.
Tactic 5: Destruction
There’s so many things that can destroy a marriage: jobs that prevent you from spending quality time with your wife, adultery, pornography, family members who were sent to disrupt your marriage (especially mothers), money troubles and so on. The good news is, you don’t have to feel overwhelmed by the enemy because, if you’re in Christ, who can stand against you (Romans 8:31). Just know that if you both stay in prayer, stay in his Word, and rely on his Spirit to guide you, the devil won’t be able to touch you.
Now that we’ve laid some groundwork, let’s get into the 5 things to consider in choosing your mate:
- Visual appearance
- Personality
- Character
- Lifestyle
- Future & Past
Next chapter: Visual Appearance
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